Hope

My hope is rising with the potential for changes for our family. Part of me is scared to hope because of the chances of being let down, but part of me can't help but hope and pray that something will come to fruition and that our prayers will be answered.

Hubby started a new job that is going well... he enjoys it and sees lots of growth potential within the company. It seems as though we are starting from scratch with this job though... the pay is significantly less than his previous job that he had 3 years ago and to work up to what we were used to getting paid seems like a long time. His second job gives him 8-12 hours a week so it supplments for us, but I can already see it is very tiring for him. He hasn't complained once about it and seems happy to be working hard to provide for our family.

I've had some wrestling conversations and journal entries with all of the emotions surrounding our situation, but am continue to trust, trust, and trust in the Lord and turn to Him in these hard times. He has proven more than faithful in all our circumstances and I am realizing that even though everything is not laid out for me nice and neat like I would like it to be, God is definitely on our side taking care of us and stretching us with our faith, hope, and trust in Him. I am so thankful that God is number one in our family. I honestly do not know how people get through the day without Jesus!

Our children are understanding prayer more and are always wanting to pray for big things, little things, and all that is inbetween! Their prayers are so special and their hearts and so tender towards the Lord even at their young age. As their parents we want to model to them a life of prayer and dependence on the Lord. It isn't always easy when we have been under so much stress and pressure and there have been lots of tears (mine of course), but it has given us opportunity to talk with them and have open and honest communication and to turn everything back to the Lord and how He is the one who is in control and who takes care of us.

This road has been so long and tiring and I feel drained emotionally....but every now and then I see or hear a glimmer of hope and I gather the strength, energy, and hope that I need to continue on this difficult path until the Lord brings us into a season of abundance and blessing.

Last night during our prayers we gave our new hope for our situation over to the Lord and asked the Lord to have His will be done, whether it is what we want or not. We want to be in His will.... not our own. He knows our needs and will provide for us. He knows that this little baby inside of me will be born shortly and our life will have even more needs that need to be met. He knows what job opportunity is out there that will provide enough for our life to be what we desire which will allow us to do more for others. He knows everything and even though I don't know everything that will happen....I can rest assured that He does and that He will never leave me or forsake me.